The Pub

To say that the Bald Devil likes to drink beer and whiskey is a huge understatement.

It would be fairer to say that He fucking loves it.  Taken to it like a duck to water so to speak.

The Pub he frequents is a pleasant, cosy and inviting little place.  Full of good old Orish characters like:

The Grump.

A rather large man with an enormous appetite for whiskey.  Cant get enough of the stuff.  He can consume vast oceans of it and all goes well up to the point where just that one mouth-full more puts him totally over the edge or “scattered” as he puts it himself. Has an annoying habit of wiping his nose with his finger.  Also a huge fan of the hairy bacon (more about that later.)

The Silver Fox.

A complex person.  Likes cars, women, annoying the Grump and is particularly fond of stirring the shite amongst all and sundry.  Also likes Bob Dylan too.  No  accounting for taste I suppose.

The Barrow-Boy.

An annoying gimp.  Knows everything about everything.  Would sell his granny if he thought he would make a few quid out of it.  Known for his fondness for all things Turkish.  Never shy about offering his pearls of wisdom on any subject.

Regina the bar-maid.

Regina is a queen amongst men.  She works tirelessly to feed the habits of the masses who frequent the pub.  Always ready with a quick quip, and has been known to tamper with drinks if annoyed.  Safe to say, you don’t want to order a Malibu and milk if she is in a rage.

There are several other characters who will feature in the coming days and weeks.  More of them anon.

The Bald Devil has integrated very successfully with them all and they are completely unaware of his dark motives.  He is perceived as an intelligent and witty companion and this is just how He likes it.  The fools.

He will be there later today and is looking forward to hearing what driveling shite the all have to twitter about.

Bald Devil loves you all….

More Dead Humans

Bald Devil is pleased to note that there are two more of your so called “humans” joining him in the afterlife.

First up, Joe Dolan.

What can He say about Joe that hasn’t been already said?

One could write pages about the career and achievements, the highs and the lows, about how Elvis robbed his stage act and the Beatles revered his sound.

Let me pay homage to the great man and sum his life up in one all encompassing word….

GAY FAGGOT BITCH.  Sorry, did He say one word? 

Tell Him that He is wrong! 

  Bet that ain’t in the priest’s speech down in good ole Mullingar. Could tell stories about how those scars are on his dead face.. Some other time when He is bored maybe.

The news report said:

 “He passed away peacefully with his friends and family by his side”.

Wouldn’t it be nice for a change if the report said something like  “He died screaming like a little fucking baby”!  Pleading like the bitch that he was.  You know the type of thing, “Oh fuck no!! “Why me”? “It really hurts, oh shit, this blood trickling through my brain.” Ouch indeed.

Anyway, welcome to the Underworld, Joe…

Then it comes to the Bald Devil’s attention that all is not well in the place you call Pakistan.

Seems that a suicide bomber has had a successful go at someone called “Bhutto”.

Got her twice it would seem.  Ah, poor mite.  No doubt some deranged American fuck-wit will claim that ultimately G W Bush has his hands all over the smoking gun.

A bumper day for the Bald Devil you might say.

  And there was Him thinking that Christmas was a quiet time and the season for good will to all man(kind) He presumes that you have not learned how to be nice to each other yet.  For this He congratulates you all for totally fucking each other up each others asses.

Butt and Bhutto, bet The Sun won’t come up with that headline, cowardly fucks..

Bald Devil loves you all.

Smoke

The Bald Devil likes to smoke, a lot, in fact.  You might even include it in a list of hobbys if you were the kind of person that compiles such things.

So, imagine My amusement when three quite young, well dressed females posed Me the question.

“Have you got a smoke mister?”

“Yeah, loads of them”, I reply.

My companion laughs, despite himself.  He thinks Im a cunt, a fact that he shares regularly with me.  How right he is indeed.

We part company and The Bald Devil keeps walking.

“Have you got a smoke”  Another young, well dressed girl asks Me.

“Can I have a blow job?  I reply.

“Go fuck yourself, she says.

“Answered your own question then” I retort, laughing at the pitiful bitch.

The Bald Devil is currently recruiting some new Boy-Child neophites.  More about this soon..

Bald Devil loves you all….

Here and Now

The Bald Devil has arrived in the world you call your home.  He is very pleased with the way His children are progressing.  Everywhere He has been today He has seen how you treat and interact with each other, and He is pleased to note that you are all selfish, miserable, evil Devil-spawn bastards and care fuck all about others only what they can do for you.  A triumph you could say?

So far so good…

Overheard on an escalator in your capital today:  “Bridget’s pudding had green mould on the bottom of it”.  “I nearly wet myself”!

Well needless to say, The Bald Devil has claimed another soul after allowing Himself a hearty chuckle (or at the very least the soul of the dumb cunt who was standing beside her listening intently) What a cunt eh?

Other observations included:

 A distinct lack of manners, eg please and thank you.  Excellent social skills there. Well done!

The things that Beer and Whiskey do to you (quite enjoyed the sight of a very under the influence Whiskey drinker) Ha Ha..

Public transport: Perhaps My greatest creation for annoying you.  Never seen such glum heads.  Much more entertaining than the Underworld.

Your simmering Race/Immigration issue: You know who you all are! But are too afraid to say it out loud.

More fun ahead I would guess. 

The Bald Devil is very proud of you all….

Be afraid scum

The Bald Devil is pleased to announce that He is leaving His Lair to move among you sorry people.

The population of the Underworld is not pleasing enough to Me anymore and I will be beside you on the train, bus, or on the street.  Listening, watching and reporting your sad antics to any sad reader.

So, take heed all you potential new recruits to the Pool of Vermin

Bald Devil loves you all….

Rare Error

Thank you Poxy for pointing out the fact that the comments tag had been disabled.  I must have been busy fucking your sister at the time..

Comment away, you snivelling toad.

Bald Devil loves you all..

Comments already.

Well now, it seems that the world is watching.  Emptyhead (aptly named Im sure) has decided to “tackle” (interesting choice of word there as I presume he has none of his own) the Phil Collins subject.

He is must be a Collins fan or else a total loser. Hmmm, lets see now.

Displaying a such wealth of information in his comment about drummers leads me to believe that he must be a bass player or something equally as shite.

Stick to the day-job you bass playing fuck-wit, maybe a discussion about the merits of Mark King versus Wan King might be more up your fat wire street.

Bald Devil loves you all.. 

An Historic New Direction

The Bald Devil has noticed (after much boring reading) that this blogging is a stupid and selfish thing.  Who cares what you have to say and feel, and to this end He is issuing a challenge to one and all. 

Send me your tiresome comments and He will respond to you all in due course, if He feels that they merit comment.  This is what the Bald Devil knows to be the future of your stupid blogging efforts.  He holds those of you who have bad grammar or the “Bebo” style of blogging to be particularly idiotic.  The Bald Devil will  answer all questions unless deemed stupid.  If anyone  feeling brave or foolish enough who would like to tackle the Bald Devil, post your no doubt stupid questions here and await your punishment…

Iwill start you off with the topics He will answer such as:

Abortion.

Foxhunting.

Religion.

Music.

Phil Collins, shit cunt or lucky cunt? 

Any random cunt to be inducted into the Pool of Vermin.

 I await.

Omahyeehaa!! Welcome to the “Pool of Vermin”

Another killing spree… in the grand ol US of A, naturally.

The Bald Devil is pleased that they are killing themselves.  It saves Bald Devil the bother of having to work Himself.

What sort of stupid fuckwit would try to willingly give himself over to the Dark Side without being asked??  A sick stupid asshole is who!! And he didnt even break that Russian dickhead’s record.  Both of whom are now sitting in a pool of shit and vomit in the Bald Devil’s “Pond of Vermin”.

Will you people ever learn?

  Any  suggestions for the “Pool of Vermin” will be ignored, you sick fucks……

Welcome to the Underworld……

RIP

The Bald Devil has just welcomed a new recruit to the Underworld.  A model and socialite who even as we speak is snorting the dandruff of my horned head…MMMMMM!

Soon you will all be with me…..